Rain and Samantha's Excellent Adventure: "Wouldn't it be weird if we had extra hands to carry our eyeballs with?"

Samantha:
First: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avaSdC0QOUM (Explicit language, just so you know!)
Then: http://www.hellgate.com/
On Sunday, Gram lovingly arranged for us to take a 36 mile jetboat tour of the Rogue river, up through Hellgate Canyon to the Ok Corral for a champagne brunch. Of course, it was a great time, and we felt rather fancy. There were about 50 other folks on the jetboat, christened the Chinook II, and Rain and I sat in the front to be sure that we didn't miss anything. We got totally drenched, perfect for a hot day. On our way down the river, we saw ospreys and gray and white herons, and a couple of people fishing for Chinook salmon (tis the season), and as our pilot, Chris, put it, some of them gave us "the big number one" as we zoomed past. Most of them were very friendly. There were some raft tours to contend with as we went, but Chris made sure that we managed to get several spins in where we could - so yes, 360 degrees, donuts if you will, on a boat in the middle of the Rogue river (donuts make me go nuts!!!). Each spin ended with an inevitable wave flooding the first two rows of the boat. So cool.
The canyon was beautiful, with tall, steep walls along a narrow channel, and a very dangerous place to be stuck in bad weather. It's called Hellgate for that reason.
We arrived for brunch around 11, and the tables had place cards for each guest. Rain and I were accompanied at our table by 8 children, ages 6 to 11, while their parents and guardians sat together at the table behind us. They took our champagne, but Rain promptly rescued it (one more reason I'm glad she's my trip mate!). The food was real food, prepared well and served tableside. There were biscuits and gravy, homefries, bacon, sausage, fresh fruit, and coffee cake. On the table in addition to the champagne was sparkling cider and orange juice - the kids drank all of it in a matter of seconds. They were actually really fun to sit with. There was a girl of about 7 sitting beside me. She showed me her name card - it said "Byrd." I showed her my name card - it said "Wolf." She said "Oh no you're a wolf, don't eat me, aaah!" Then she clapped me on the back and said "That's a great animal!" She piled my plate with meat to be sure that I wouldn't eat her up. It was adorable. Next we had a riveting analysis of the question "What if you had extra hands to carry your eyeballs with?" We concluded that it would be really neat to trade eyes with your friends, to juggle them, and that it would be very difficult to find them if you happened to drop them. When our server came by to clear plates, the boy sitting beside Rain ordered two bottles of sparkling cider in a very adult tone. It was precious.
Rain and I finished the champagne, and then headed back to the river to reclaim our seats.
The ride back was a game of tag with the Kelly Marie, the sister boat to the Chinook II. We'd speed ahead and build up a wave for them, they'd splash us as they raced by. Meanwhile, those on the raft tour made countless efforts to sink us with their complimentary water guns. Our pilot humored us by turning around and splashing a fleet of little rafts. Some folks on the Chinook II seemed slightly overly pleased by that. I may have been one of them. The tour ended with what our pilot called a barrel roll: both the Chinook II and the Kelly Marie did spins, side by side. Over all, a fabulous time, definitely something to do if you ever find yourself in or near Grants Pass, OR. Thanks, Gram!!

Rain: Well, Samantha did a wonderful job describing this, so I won't say very much. It was my first time being on a jetboat like this, and at first I was a little bit nervous (with visions of myself being blown out of the seat running through my head) but soon I realized that was just silly and had a ton of fun. The boat ride made me really want to go to a waterpark as soon as possible, and I really want to do something like this again. Thanks, Gram!!

Pictures to prove we were there: